this is the entry hallway
here's the mantel
here's our girls with their sweet friends, brea & brooke, who are going to be our neighbors soon!! we are so excited and thankful the Lord provided them an awesome house just around the corner from us!! we definitely look forward to lots of fun girl bonding with them!!
avery & brea are a few months apart, and brooke & tatum are a few months apart.and i'm pretty sure one set of sisters is a tad more photogenic than the other set.
we're having avery issues. she is one of the sweetest, happiest, most helpful, creative "mama's girls" in the world. but lately some not-so-nice attitudes have been bringing us to the breaking point. the main problem is that she thinks she is the mom or grandma in our family, just like myself or gigi (brian's mom). she gets offended when i remind her she is not in charge and her sisters do not have to obey her. she also has a hard time transitioning from "playtime" where she is the mama to "real life" where she is the child and must obey the mama (or grandma). needless to say, there have been some power struggles in our house lately, and i'm not sure how to discipline her in this area.
we are also dealing with very SLOW obedience from her. to the point that i have to pray out-loud over myself that i will not burst a blood vessel while i am waiting for her to complete the task at hand. avery looked up at me the other day and asked "mama, what are you asking for Jesus' help for?" dear, oblivious child. i know part of it is her God-given personality... she is a careful, meticulous, thinker who didn't crack a smile until she was almost one year old b/c she was so deep in thought. God made her that way, and i'm pretty He did it partly just to sharpen me. But there are wonderful things about her personality too - she enjoys organizing things thoroughly, she is a very quick learner, she is sensitive to others' feelings, she makes up stories and games in her amazingly creative brain, she "gets" humor and jokes, she has an amazing memory when it comes to music and the words to songs, she has big dreams - and i wouldn't trade those things for anything!
but ... if anyone has a child like avery and has found some great strategy to help them focus on quick obedience and transitions from playtime to normal life, please share the love!!!
4 comments:
I loved the sweet pictures of the girls. They are just going to have so much fun together!
Please keep praying about the house. We are waiting on the contract and financing to all get squared away. It is hard not to worry, but I know I can trust the Lord!
I have a tough time with Brea as well.
A few friends have suggested books to me by Lehman...How to make your child mind without losing yours; Have a new kid by Friday
Also, Shepherding a Child's Heart...differnt author
I know it is hard to read a book every time you have an issue, though.
I have started the point system...1 point to exceptional attitude, choice, helpfulness, quickness to respond. Subtract a point for delayed obedience, sharp tone, etc. We have a goal of how many points and what the reward will be (something that is valuable to her).
A friend of mine has also gone to a say it once system. They say it, have the child repeat it, and then it is very clear if it was disobedience or a lack of paying attention.
When Brea is having a fit, I will put her in her room and tell her that she can choose to act that way on her own, but it crosses our boundaries for her to act that way in the rest of the house. I have also put vinegar on her tongue to remind her what her ugly words are like.
I don't know if any of those things might work...I need new ideas every day!
Thanks again for a sweet time!
it's late so I can't make it long but yes...anything my Kevin Leman can't be beat.....New Kid by Friday is a must have for your nightstand.....if you will follow it daily it will work...we've gotten lax. see you soon..can't wait to talk and how awesome that Erica and you will be neighbors!
We have the same issues with Hunter. We have had to explain to him NUMEROUS times that he can not discipline Mia or threaten to put her in time out. We have tried to explain that God has put us in charge. We use the "all the way, right away, with a happy heart" phrase for obeying the first time. That is from Don't Make Me Count to Three, which is a great book. She talks about how to use scripture to explain to your kids why they should obey. When Hunter doesn't obey at first we have found taking away privileges works great.
mel:
i've got a sharpener too!
my two cente: pray for her to KNOW Jesus, to have the Holy Spirit within her to battle that sin nature. yes, work on that behavior--that is our job.
one line that i think my kids must be sick of hearing is, "God has entrusted you to me to teach you to obey, because one day He will give you instruction and you will need to obey Him--immediately and with a happy heart."
stay on your knees, my friend!
(and i loved your grandpa's poem!)
enjoy spring break!
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